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Let me tell you what I wish I’d known
When I was young and dreamed of glory
You have no control:
Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?
-From ‘Hamilton’

For the third time, I appeared before a group of hospital staff to tell my story of being a patient in Labor and Delivery who would not be taking my baby home.

  1. How not to say “Well, at least you have other children at home.” Because I wanted this baby. She was one of my children from the beginning.
  2. That if a patient comes in to deliver a living child after loss, to not ignore the past experiences or pretend that they didn’t exist. Everything isn’t automatically fixed with the birth of a healthy baby.
  3. If unsure, just ask.

Mother • Spouse • Bereaved • Friend • Documentarian • Collector • Writer

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