What I Learned About Myself This Past Year
Looking forward to what comes next.
2021 was supposed to be better than 2020… right? That was my sentiment twelve months ago, with the announcement of Pfizer’s Covid vaccine. I had so much hope that we’d finally be able to emerge from the isolated lifestyle we’d been maintaining for over nine months. I always reflect at the end of the year and what I wrote at the end of 2020 mirrored my exhaustion.
But 2021 kicked off with an insurrection. We got our vaccines in March, and our two older kids (ages 12 and 9) as soon as they were eligible. I quit my job in February, quit again in September, and my husband quit his job in August — so we were navigating a lot of changes. Toward the end of the year, it felt like things were going to be more normal in 2022… and then Omicron hit and now I’m back to anxiety and uncertainty.
Yet as I look back on 2021, I learned a lot about myself. 2020 felt like a year when I had no control over so many things: public health and safety, how my kids fared during remote learning, and how other people conducted themselves during the pandemic (i.e. defying the recommendations of science and health experts). Earlier this year, I told someone that I felt “trapped.” I held back tears as I said this, feeling all of the weight of 2020 on my shoulders.
